Bush: US Constitution is Unconstitutional

(The PureBullshit.com Daily) -- WASHINGTON, DC, May 12th, 2006 -- Citing Executive privilege, President Bush today declared that the US Constitution is unconstitutional. "Our Founding Fathers would be absolutely appalled at the state of our great nation!" insisted Bush.

Outraged Constitutional scholars quickly filed a lawsuit with the Supreme Court, but five of the nine Justices immediately opted to refuse to hear the plea -- privately agreeing with Bush that the Constitution was indeed unconstitutional.

A few hours later in the Rose Garden (riding on the coattails of his earlier Supreme Court appointed victory), President Bush held a news conference boldly proclaiming that "free and fair elections in a Republic Democracy are simply unAmerican and that such democratic subversions will not be tolerated anymore by any true American patriots." [1]

Leading Democrats had no comment on the days' events.

Off-the-record, two key Democratic Party strategists told several reporters that they were patiently confident that the Bush admistration would eventually go too far. "Someday, this president will cross the line and that's when us Democrats will seize the opportunity to bother developing a five-point plan to counter Bush's incompetence."

Initially stunned journalists were then put in their comfort zones when the elder of the two Democratic strategists added that "There's simply no sense in offering any workable alternative policy ideas until we have a majority in Congress."

...

[1] -- Bush then downed several more cups of coffee which aides had been keeping topped-off on a table behind the makeshift podium -- alongside a large bag of tiny marshmallows.


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